Commissioner Press Release

Old-Timey Rival To Join Asshats

(For Immediate Release to the Press) — The Old-Timey Asshats are proud to announce the hiring of a once-in-a-lifetime team owner and League Champion Andrew Fefer. He will serve as VP of Player Scouting and Acquisition.

“It’s no secret to anybody that we’ve got problems with injuries. Nobody can stay healthy — we’re well aware”, said Alowairdi. “I was kicking around this idea for over a year before pulling the trigger and sending off an offer. We’ve all heard about the itch.. he’s got an itch to get back into it”, he went on to say. “He stole one away from us in 2015 but I’ve always had the utmost respect with how he runs a baseball team. He’s a class act from top to bottom.”

Fefer is set to join the Old-Timey Asshats organization this week.


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